i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
