if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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