if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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