I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
it's like iHOP with fire
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Randomize