dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
