I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
