The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
