Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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