were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize