just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
