I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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