Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
