So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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