Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
time to smoke my breakfast
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
