STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
