Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just found puke in my bra..
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
