I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
