you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
