Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
