Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
bring money and cleavage
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Couch. On fire.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
