Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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