Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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