question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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