no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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