wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize