Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
