i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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