I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
