You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
