So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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