The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
