C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
be right there i have to get my cape
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
