he shaved USA in his pubs
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
