I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Pooping to opera.
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