while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
