I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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