Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
