Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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