You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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