I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
