nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
