I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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