Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
