We're facebook friends in real life
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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