That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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