I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize