i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
