im gay
i know
yea but for you.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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