okay pat passed out under dana's car
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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