I'm drive I can fine osifer
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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