There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
