Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
