have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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