shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
