here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
