I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
