My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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