So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
