even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
