Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Too much gin, very little bucket
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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