I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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